I'm exhausted...
To: Law
Why you gotta be so interesting?!
From: Annoyed intrigued student.
Sitting in my room getting lost in songs... It's a good day.
I wanna be more happy but I can't, I can't...
Maybe it's these songs...
I guess I was so caught up on worrying about the other person's feelings,
I forgot about my own.
And now I'm the one that's hurting.
Hmmm, there's a dilemma here.
Could this be home if there is no warmth in this place?
It's not home just because I live here right?
Isn't home where you will always find love and your family's warmth?
This is just a house.
A building structure that shelters me.
Feeds me, protects me, gives me the basic necessities.
But does not comfort me, bless me, or love me.
It's just an empty house.
Ps. i miss my favourite man, sunbae and indo...
the house has been quite cold these few nites.. please come warm it up =]
Had two great nights thanks to being able to drive.
Staying up till 1.30am in the car with Mona and Chenny my two very special friends.
Sharing, laughing, getting scared, confessing and reminiscing.
Getting lost on the way to steamboat, meeting new friends, and having fun playing games.
It gets a little quite round the house when it's just me at home.
It's quite lonely when my brother's not here. I hate it.
Silence becomes deafening. Cliche; but true.
Maybe that's why I always rely on my friends, rely on facebook, msn, you.
I miss home, my family, my sister.
I miss times in your car. Singing along to the radio. Changing the gear for you.
Getting you to drive safely. Distracting you.
But maybe I won't think about all of that if I stay busy day and night.
Concentrate on my work. Watch korean drama. Sleep. Drink bubble tea.
Do whatever I can so I don't have time to think about the silence.
I miss the old days, where it was just us against the world.
We'd sit around talking for hours without a care in the world except for bloody assignments.
We used to make crazy videos and laugh out really loud.
We'd dance around the house with the music on full volume just cause we can.
Making cupcakes and camwhoring was our specialty.
We'd talk about the "others" and complain what was wrong with them.
I miss the old days, cause now it just ain't the same anymore.
It's as if we're not really friends anymore. Although we are, it's not like the old days.
There are "others", maybe I'm just jealous, or maybe I'm just lonely.
But the feeling hurts. To be left behind and not being able to move on.
Maybe I just can't let go. Maybe it's just me.
You know too much.
Okay basically I've found a new toy which is tumblr. So currently intrigued with it cause it can make my blog look so pretty! So yeah but a downside is I can't have chatlogs on the side. =[
So cacat. Oh well I'll have a go at it for a few weeks and decide if I'm going to officially move there.
But of course I'll still use this blog! Like the title says "it knows too much" hehehe.
So many memories that I will keep looking back on!
I wish I was a shooting star
That way I can shoot myself to a different universe and won't have to deal with life.
You know when you ask someone:
"Hey are you okay"
And they reply:
"Yeah, just tired."
They're LYING.
I know this because I do that too.
It's the perfect excuse to get away from having to explain how your past few days have been full of shit because you just lost your cat your mother called to tell you she lost your passport so you can't go back home you're not friends with your bestfriend anymore and you broke up with your boyfriend because he was cheating on you with her and your brother ate your expensive sashimi you hit the camera off the table while you were sleeping and the lens broke into a million pieces and you couldn't use the toilet this morning because there was a cockroach in there and you drank expired milk you have a major assignment due tomorrow which you finished but didn't save and your life just sucks basically.
Got dressed and took a photo(obviously).
Then I went to get my shoes at the door and oh dear!
But then I saw cupcakes!
While enjoying my cupcakes I heard quacking ducks!
The ducks were leading me somewhere; so I followed.
Memorable date
Lately I've learned, that a holiday is meant to be spent with people you love and have fun with. Holidays are for gatherings of old friends and family reunions. Holidays can bring people together in the most awkward relationships :) Holidays let me learn things. Catch up on movies. Let me go shopping around the world. Let me meet new friends. Holidays allow me to see how blessed I am. Holidays make me so bored that I read, draw and take photos! Holidays make me exercise. Holidays make me clean my room. Holidays let me go to places with beautiful scenery and a special person. Holidays thought me how to love. Holidays gave me lots of simcards. hahaha. Holidays make me sick alot.
I've also learned that holidays wouldn't be so treasured dearly if I had them forever. So here's to a new year. And at the end of this new year, an even awesomer holiday! =D
YES I am emo.
But I guess it's only fair considering the amount of joy and happiness I was given during this three months. A little tears wouldn't kill me.
People contributing to an awesome summer:
Magben
Rueann
Renee
Karmun
DJ Wan
Kenneth
Siew Choon
Chun Kit
Min Chun
The Mels
that one
My family
the pilots that landed excellently(yea I'm random. but seriously i love assessing how well the pilot lands the plane =p )
the nice cute kind shop owners in Bangkok
the chefs at the 101 restaurants I've been to the past few months
my dad's clients that provide the money for my shopping =p
ah there's so many people who contributed to the beautiful puzzle but I know God was the one who put it all together and made everything work. Thank you.
New phone
New laptop
New bag
New camera
and sadly a new life.
It's like moving all over again.
I don't want to leave.
I probably should be used to it by now.
But it's harder when you're older.
When you're closer.
When you understand who your real friends are.
When you realize they will always be your friends.
When you find they accept you no matter what your flaws.
When you see that no matter how long you haven't seem them or talked to them you'll always be able to get back into the flow just like that. No awkward silences. No uncomfortable hugs and hand shakes.
Just love. Unconditional love. So rare it could take forever to find yet still worth the wait.
Friends like these I don't want to part from. I don't want to leave behind. I will always miss and keep coming back to.
Dedicated to the 10 people who called me their own. I love you guys...
From Malaysia to Bangkok to Singapore and soon to Philipines.
She's a lil weird and strange and annoying and horrible and stupid.
